This past week I’ve had several different people share their feelings over an incident in which they felt slighted, angered or put out…
These issues are never going to go away. Why? Let me give you my view; First there are two opposing forces, our ego and lens don’t match up with their lens.
I’m using lens to describe different perspectives. If you’re familiar with cameras, you know changing lenses can afford a wide perspective for a nature scene, but say you want to look at a specific flower, then you’d need a close up lens. It is my belief that when we get our feelings hurt we have that close up lens on, and conversely the other person has a broader view or wide angle on. Sometimes we need to take a step back and ask yourself, “Am I being too sensitive?” Often we are, we look for ways in which to be offended or hurt, often without the other individual knowing what happened. Believe me there are times when the slight is intentional but that is for another day.
How do we roll with the punches? Before you start, ranting, crying or clamming up, ask yourself is this typical of this individual? If it is, then you need new friends. I’m guessing it wasn’t typical, in that case, let it go. If you can’t let it go ask the person to clarify your perspective. You may find out you were way off base, there was never any malice intended.
We need to stop guessing what other people intend with their words or actions, and listen and change lenses once in a while to give you a different perspective. We’d all be better off if instead of judging one another we listened to one another without the need to be right!
I wish you well,