Shifts

A friend was telling me about her day at the beach, there was nothing new or noteworthy except her comment, “It was the same as it has been but it is different, like a wind shift.” I knew exactly what she was referring to, even though the calendar says there are six weeks remaining of summer. It feels different than the beginning of July, when the sun entices us outdoors to worship its warmth and promise of fun. Sunrises and sunsets are coming closer together we are experiencing less daylight and mentally preparing ourselves for the next season.

Like the seasons there are many life shifts occurring,children preparing for a new challenges that a new school year brings, young adults heading off to college to find their passion. Some of my friends are contemplating retirement, dealing with unfortunate health issues, moving, finding different paths to pursue. I’m not sure if I’m more sensitive to what’s going on around me or if it seems like there’s a great deal more shifting going on than I can recall.

I suppose there is a certain energy that has effected us, making us question. I also know this it is good to question, it’s how we learn, but we can’t make the pursuit of answers our only reason for being. We do need to experience the ebb and flow of life’s tides, otherwise how will we know when there is a shift?

Be Awesome,

Gin

What’s Next?

Do you feel like you’re running toward something or from something? – I’m not sure…

These past two years have been filled with loss for many of us. I have lost my favorite human, mentor, confidant, friend the moment my mother passed. If that wasn’t enough there was my stepfather, godmother, several cousins and three cats.

Aside for the loss of loved ones. There has been a loss of security, adventure, patience, trust, and I hate to say it spirit. I know I’m not the only one walking about like a pandemic zombi pretending to be okay and wondering if you can remember what okay is and if it was all a false sense of security.

Living in a free country being able to come and go wherever and when ever you pleased. Being able to plan with a degree of certainty what to do next. Pick a goal and go for it, the heck with negative possibilities we live in the land of happily ever after.

We’re not in 2019 anymore Toto…

I’m sharing this blog today because of a Kalhil Gibran quote I read recently; “Anxiety isn’t so much about the future, but our wanting to control it.” This quote hit me right between the eyes – Suddenly I could put a finger on all of the above losses it all comes down to not being able to control the future. YES we knew all this before, but we lied to ourselves. The pandemic lifted the curtain, removed our rose colored glasses and knocked us on our collective asses.

So what’s next? Do we continue to fake it until we make it? Try and repurpose the broken parts of our spirit? Maybe try the trendy pivoting to our next thing. All I know is I have more questions than answers. More anxiety than I had during the pandemic, because I have to figure out how not to be afraid to take chances, try a new direction, not having a plan.

Meditation has been a godsend to me, getting quiet to listen to my heart’s desires. Clearing out clutter and letting go of excess, has also been a great help. Spending time in nature on my bike, walking, running, and kayaking has brought me a sense of where I fit in the world. Living with two cats who only understand how to be in the moment has made me more aware of living this way.

I share this because I hope these words may speak to you and make you feel a little less lost. What’s next? I haven’t the faintest idea, but if I get on the wrong bus, I can always get off and find the right one…

Be Awesome,

Gin

This Too Shall Pass…

After a week of dealing with heat and a dead air conditioner, carting my cats to my brothers because the temperature in my condo was ninety plus. I’ve had moments of anxiety overload!

There was tons for me to worry about (I’m a Chronic Worrier). In the end everything was fine. I moved to my brother’s along with my cats and it all worked out.

This inconvenience was another blip in a life filled with seemingly difficult circumstances which in the end got worked out. This wasn’t the first time the cats and I with fled to my brother’s-February of 21 we had a fire and no heat. I took the cats to my brother’s then.

The most difficult part aside from the obvious discomfort/ and anxiety is my need for certainty. When life throws these curve balls I try to be pragmatic about it – I’m better than I was but not nearly what I should be. I stop and take a breath and I try to recall my mother’s advice.”This too shall pass.” is what she would say. “Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you’ll get through this.” These sound like platitudes – they may be, but there are a lot of truth in those words.

Right now we are all going through something, as a citizen of the world, living in this nation, in your hometown, family and as a human. What I’ve learned is life is cyclical from the weather, clothing styles, political agendas, bull and bear markets. Change is constant it is the only thing that is, so in dealing with these many ups and downs it is important to remember we can’t control what happens all we can control is our reaction.

Be assured all things will pass, I’m writing this in my cool air conditioned tiny condo with both cats fast asleep…

Be Awesome,

Gin

Pictures of Past Life Times

Part of my downsizing and simplifying has been organizing photographs. There are so many lifetimes among the pictures I’ve gleaned through.

My best recollection is these photos are from 1978 and my Nursing School graduation through to the late 90’s vacations. There are so many wonderful memories and forgotten times and events that where brought back. It amazes me how many places I’ve travelled and all the wonderful people I met along the way. Family events and holidays a lest not forget the birthday celebrations for one Eliza Doolittle my fair Springer!

There were wonderful outings with my nursing friends, bowling, limo rides, pool parties, Christmas parties. My friends were young mothers and now are grandmothers-Lifetimes!

Martial art parties, promotions and ski, and rafting trips-Lifetimes…

Hot-Air Balloon festivals here in RI, New York, and New Mexico-Lifetimes…

Mountain peaks in the Alps, Hawaii, Alaska, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Canada, Korea, Nevada, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont-more Lifetimes.

Ocean views from here in RI, Maine, the Caribbean, Hawaii, California, Nova Scotia, South Carolina, Florida-Lifetimes

I could go on and on, but the one singular constant is I was present in one of my life forms, daughter, student, nurse, friend, sister, instructor, pet mom…Lifetimes -Mine.

Gin

Affirmation , Realization…

I’ve been taking part in the Insight Timer’s 30 Day Affirmation Challenge. There was one particular affirmation that hit me between the eyes; “Today I will live and not simply be productive.”

I’m a to-do list sort of gal, even though I know I’m a human “being” not a human “doing”, I get caught up in the getting things done of my structured brain. I love checking all the tasks of the day off. In my defense I also schedule things like bike rides, kayaking and getting together with family and friends. However the key word is schedule. This affirmation made me reexamine my to-do list and my dependency or obsession with it. I’m going to try and be a bit more spontaneous. In fact early yesterday morning I had forgotten to pick up a few groceries. Later in the day I had an appointment, after which I stopped by a local BaJa restaurant and got take out to eat in the park. Something I haven’t done in ages. The spontaneity felt great. I was living not being productive.

So take my lead and do something that makes you feel alive that doesn’t appear on your to-do list.

Be Awesome

Gin

Blue Dragonfly

Today I finally got out and into my kayak. Friends and I went to a local pond, it was magical. It was still early enough where the clouds hadn’t burned off, the pond was like a sheet of glass. There were mirrored images everywhere. Wildlife was abundant, I can’t recall how many different birds we saw.

Then there was my blue dragon fly. There are many legends about the dragon fly good and bad, but mostly good. One is dragonflies are a message to stay the path, not take life so seriously be in the moment. Another belief as this is a transformation of a loved one as a way to communicate.

A little background my mother passed just a little over two years ago. Today I was wearing a sun hat I gave to her from Korea. the hat had her name and the Korean symbols for her name embroidered on the hat. Soon after I got the kayak in the water and moving forward a dragon fly landed on the front of the kayak. This happened two more times on the excursion, totaling three. It didn’t land on anyone else’s kayak just mine.

The whole time I was there I could feel mom’s presence. I was also getting my thoughts together for a family dish I was to prepare later in the day. A simple macaroni salad that was my aunt Lucy’s, mom’s older sister. After aunt Lucy passed mom took the torch and made the dish. This was a family favorite especially around the 4th of July. It isn’t very difficult but it requires a good deal of precise prep. I felt bit apprehensive in doing this dish because food memories are a way we can continue a legacy and I wanted to do them proud.

After my encounter with the dragonfly AKA mom? I felt lighter and less stressed about tackling the challenging prep. It went well! I tastes just as I remembered it -which was the goal.

Thank you blue dragonfly, til we meet again,

Gin

Baby Steps

Baby steps was the title of my journal entry this morning.

After my meditation, I sat quietly trying to take in the lesson of the meditation as well as trying to get perspective on where my life is heading. I was reminded of a lesson on perseverance I like to teach my martial art students. When a baby begins to walk, they first start with standing getting a sense of balance, then once that is mastered they start moving carefully forward. The don’t quit or get discouraged and give up never mastering the skill. We’ve all done it none of us quit.

What an amazing gift ignorance of not understanding failure, the power of wanting to be mobile superseded any brief setback.

Baby steps a practice we should revisit taking our time in mastering a task being undaunted by temporary setbacks, knowing with patience we will eventually get moving.

The secret is to keep moving forward, baby steps indeed…

Being vs Doing

Listening to one of my favorite pod casts Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown, her cohost Jonathan Cohen repeated a Kurt Vonnegut quote “I am a human being not a human doing”. That coupled by an outstanding post about slowing down by Christine Higgins prompted me to add my 2 cents.

Americans are known for their work hard play hard attitude. You would think that being a highly developed country, with all the resources available they would be one of the healthiest. No not even close, the US is the 35th healthiest nation. With Spain being number one. There are quite a few factors involved here; the lack of decent health care system, diet, the lack of down time (vacations), and the general over consumption of food, and stuff.

Conversely Europeans have more time off, better nutrition, higher standards of what is permitted as additives. They rest more, and consume less.

Many Americans don’t take the full allotted time off, consumed with getting more having more. We’ve made keeping up with the Jones’ a national pastime. One of my. favorite lines from an old TV series was “How’s the rat race?” “The rats are winning!”

The rats are winning, stress, substance abuse, anxiety, poor health are the rats!

My belief is we need to stop doing for the sake of doing! Accumulating stuff that gives us momentary pleasure which will be either thrown out or donated in two years. We are all seeking peace and that can only be attained by getting quiet, breathing, and being in nature. Listening to each other ,not texting or messaging. Try writing a letter, call someone better yet visit someone.

We don’t need stuff we need connection…

Which is why I’m making a point to not drive at least once a week. I cycle or walk on Thursdays. I’m lucky I live in an area in which that can be done, but how can you slow down? I also have been making a point to visit with people, reconnect with old friends. This is in addition to a very involved morning practice which consists of spiritual reading, meditation, Yoga, mindful eating, and journaling. This is where I’m a human being, before I get caught in the tsunami of “doing” day to day life .

Take a deep breath, and just be…

Gin

Summer…

The Summer Solstice is upon us, with that longer and warmer days. Summer more than any other season fills me with reminisces, the excitement of no school, day camp on hog island, fort building, bike riding until the street lights came on at 8pm!

It was the time where we were the closest as a family. Growing up in Bristol Rhode Island the 4th of July is the height of all holidays. A parade known to be the oldest continuous celebration in the country. Along with the parade were fire works and a carnival on the town common. However the best part was family, we would all gather downtown at my paternal grandparents and walk to the parade site. My mother would be sure my brother and I were clothed in appropriate red white and blue attire. We would settle in somewhere on High street under the shade of a tree sitting on a blanket waiting for not just the parade but the street vendors with balloons, cap-guns and assorted toys on a stick.

After the parade we would head back to my grandparents where my grandfather made clam chowder, stuffies and clam cakes. There was watermelon for desert. Then there was the trip to the Tee Pees a local beach where Mt Hope Bay and the Kickemuit River met. It was may favorite part this is where my father came to life this was our favorite. He would have us stand on his hands and we’d be tossed in to the chest high water.

After the beach we would head back to my grandparents for a cook out which could include some Portuguese foods like linguica, chorizo and peppers and fava beans. Once we had our fill of another delicious meal we’d head to the town common and ride the rides at the carnival. Dad would also try his hand at winning a game or two. Then we headed for the fireworks, which were always awesome at least that’s how I remember them.

The rest of the summer would seem to linger – there were drive in movies to see. Soft served ice cream to be savored, overnight visits at my cousins. There were backyard baseball games with invisible men on first. Endless arguments and endless fun. I grew up in the best time ever! Where you could sit in the middle of the street to draw hop scotch squares. Wander the fields and woods looking for adventures. We were outdoors after breakfast and only came inside if it was time for a meal, often not even to use the bathroom! You would hear parents calling you home for dinner and everyone had the streetlight curfew.

I miss those days of endless fun and adventures. I recall my first summer as an adult ,it is when summer became just another season.

Celebrate Summer like a kid, no matter what season of life you’re in,

Gin

Coming Back To Your Senses

The five senses are what we depend upon to navigate our way through our daily lives. Most of us are lucky enough to have five others may have one or two less for one reason or another. My question is have our senses become dulled?

With the advent of technologies, most of our sight is used scrolling through a smart phone. People on the bike path, run and ride hooked up to headphones or worst insist on sharing their music with the rest of the world. Meals are scoffed down with little regard to tasting and savoring. Scents are often masked literally and figuratively since covid, but even without the mask, pollution, along with allergens are depleting our sense of smell. Touch is another Covid fatality, bear hugs have been replaced with air hugs and hand shakes have morphed into knuckle bumps.

How do we navigate more to the point how do we appreciate the world in which we inhabit. I believe it comes down to mindful awareness. Being fully present in whatever we may be doing. When out in nature or with friends put the phone away in a pocket or purse. I’ve been getting my photography equipment readied, like many of you I’ve fallen into the convenience of using the smartphone as a camera. How many photos on your phone are absolutely mindless? When did we become food bloggers, that we feel the need to photograph everything we eat or prepare? When did we become so self absorbed with self portraits “selfies” that we are missing the beauty and majesty surrounding us?

Where did our listening skills go? when we’re out with friends or family that we can’t be fully present without checking for messages, notifications, fantasy scores? What has happened to the art of conversation? We no longer have discourse but posts. Who are we trying to impress? A good portion of life is routine, why can’t we be satisfied in appreciating what we’re doing without showing the world what we’re up to. I find it ironic that there are so many new technologies being introduced to protect our privacy yet we post when we’re away, what we’re buying, doing, eating, moving to? I know people who are paranoid to have a smart speaker in their home yet post everything but their bowel habits on Facebook.

Does anyone taste what they eat? Look at the plate of food notice the different aromas? Next time you go out for a meal sit for a moment and try to engage your senses, before you take a bite. Then notice the different textures, flavors while you are eating and by all means slow down!

I remember when I was in Europe the pleasure of a leisurely meal it was to be savored and enjoyed.

Be aware of how things feel, soft cotton, cool breezes, the comforting warmth of a morning coffee mug. The soft fur of a cat, today I thought about the bristles of my dads 3 day beard (I miss that).

Do yourself a favor and get out into nature, walk, run, hike, bike, kayak, sail, swim, or just sit. Then be fully present aware of the sights, sounds, scents, touch the cool grass, taste a wild blackberry. Just be… It will be a great day, experience coming back to your senses.