Do you feel like you’re running toward something or from something? – I’m not sure…
These past two years have been filled with loss for many of us. I have lost my favorite human, mentor, confidant, friend the moment my mother passed. If that wasn’t enough there was my stepfather, godmother, several cousins and three cats.
Aside for the loss of loved ones. There has been a loss of security, adventure, patience, trust, and I hate to say it spirit. I know I’m not the only one walking about like a pandemic zombi pretending to be okay and wondering if you can remember what okay is and if it was all a false sense of security.
Living in a free country being able to come and go wherever and when ever you pleased. Being able to plan with a degree of certainty what to do next. Pick a goal and go for it, the heck with negative possibilities we live in the land of happily ever after.
We’re not in 2019 anymore Toto…
I’m sharing this blog today because of a Kalhil Gibran quote I read recently; “Anxiety isn’t so much about the future, but our wanting to control it.” This quote hit me right between the eyes – Suddenly I could put a finger on all of the above losses it all comes down to not being able to control the future. YES we knew all this before, but we lied to ourselves. The pandemic lifted the curtain, removed our rose colored glasses and knocked us on our collective asses.
So what’s next? Do we continue to fake it until we make it? Try and repurpose the broken parts of our spirit? Maybe try the trendy pivoting to our next thing. All I know is I have more questions than answers. More anxiety than I had during the pandemic, because I have to figure out how not to be afraid to take chances, try a new direction, not having a plan.
Meditation has been a godsend to me, getting quiet to listen to my heart’s desires. Clearing out clutter and letting go of excess, has also been a great help. Spending time in nature on my bike, walking, running, and kayaking has brought me a sense of where I fit in the world. Living with two cats who only understand how to be in the moment has made me more aware of living this way.
I share this because I hope these words may speak to you and make you feel a little less lost. What’s next? I haven’t the faintest idea, but if I get on the wrong bus, I can always get off and find the right one…